Trash Tales (8)

Perhaps it was best that I left my past behind. I had a phobia about going to my local elementary school. I yawned incessantly like a nervous dog every morning before heading off to first grade. The school cafeteria was run by drill sergeants who would inspect your plate after lunch. If you did not finish your food, you had to return to you table and force it down…or no play period. I hated Mac and Cheese. Every time Mac and Cheese was slopped onto my plate, I felt the gag reflex grip my soul. I knew I was doomed to sit in purgatory, staring at that gross, yellow yuck and listening to my classmates playing square ball outside…while I suffered. That was until my brother would come to my rescue, eat my Mac and Cheese and I could make it past the guards with a clean plate. The smell of that cafeteria would haunt me for years to come.

And then there was the fiasco of my acting debut. I was selected to play Prince Phillip in Sleeping Beauty. I took my role seriously and followed the Stanislavsky method to portray the beloved hero. I was immersed in my role, and in running through my part to save Sleeping Beauty, I walked boldly up to the reclining young beauty and kissed her. That got a rise out of her but not in the way the role required. She was not happy to see me. And Protested much to the Director. Apparently I was supposed to fake the magical moment. I begged forgiveness of the Fair Lady but Alas, to no avail, and the Director demoted me to Page.

It was time to find another stage…out West!

About Whittoons

Cartoonist, and community organizer who has covered the globe as a doodlebugger, gandydancer, supernumerary steward, Able Bodied Seaman, Wireman, monkey man, Night Baker and dishwasher, Hobo, hitchhiker and husband.
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