Whittoons

TELLTALES from around the block in Ballard. More friends to be introduced over the next few weeks.

I will be introducing a few characters over the next few weeks and we shall see where their adventures lead us. Stay tooned @ Whittoons.world.

It was an Edward Hopper moment on the day we hit the streets of San Francisco. There they were – two Santas sipping Starbuck lattes on a chilly morning near Chinatown. But they were not alone. We had come to SF to get in the holiday mood but this was way bad. Everywhere you turned there were Santas, or Santa’s helpers headed for bars and mayhem. It was SantaCon. Apparently the founder of Santacon has disavowed any association with the event in its present incarnation. It has degenerated. Spirits are lifted but not the type he had in mind. It felt a little like St. Patrick’s Day when everyone claims they are Irish, but for SantaCon everyone was claiming they are Santa. And that is just not possible. One might classify this crowd as naughty and not exactly deserving of gifts under the Christmas tree.

Credit Card Bonus points bought us two nights at the Fairmont Hotel. As we walked in the doors, it was clear that this place knows how to celebrate Christmas. We had to maneuver our rolling bag through crowds of party goers taking selfies around the tree and those lounging around sipping from small bottles of Moët Champagne.

Beyond that enormous gaudy tree stands a two-story gingerbread house…made of real gingerbread. Many selfies are taken inside this fantasy space that does indeed smell of baked goods. And though a warning is posted not to indulge in grabbing a candy off the gingerbread house walls, it is clear some have not heeded this sage advice…small gaps are evident in the candy masonry.

Our friends Dawn and Peter guided us on a walk around the downtown to see the festive decor and buoyant crowds floating through Union Square after the monsoon downpour of the afternoon.

AstroTurf was spread out down a block for a Christmas Market in front of Gucci and Hermes. The Union Square ice rink had a small crowd skating round and round…and around…and around. Windows displayed high end couture outfits with manikins stargazing through ancient telescopes and fondling globes. Tiffany had tiny white mice dashing through the snow near sparkling diamonds.

Gumps had a little more traditional look in its small windows. A bit retro and sentimental…but we needed a touch of that.

Our only disappoint was that the Tonga Room was booked for private parties both nights. We have consumed powerful tropical drinks on the deck of a ship in the Tonga Room before, and ordered a dessert shaped like a volcano that blew off whiffs of smoke. The band floats out on a barge into the middle of the artificial sea and a thunderstorm passes over with rain cascading from the ceiling. Tahiti it is not, nor the Cook Islands but all together a must see if you happen to visit the Fairmont some evening.

As we left San Francisco and the Fairmont Hotel after a whirlwind visit, we paid our respects to Tony Bennett and hummed a few bars of “I left my heart in San Francisco” –

“ I left my heart in San Francisco, high on a hill it calls to me, to be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars!”

Halloween 2019 brought 80-95 trick or treaters (depending on who is counting in our neighborhood). Reaching this number took years of planning and preparation…and building a reputation as the house that gives away full size candy bars.  With three flights of stairs to our front door, we had to offer some extra incentives.

When we moved in to this neighborhood in 1992, nothing was going on so Michele and I started up annual celebrations: summer block party with movie nights, Memorial Day and Labor Day pancake breakfasts, Christmas caroling, pumpkin carving and Halloween decorating.  Our first few Halloweens lured only a handful of children so we decided to up the game. Michele came up with a ghost theme for the neighborhood and not just any ghosts, but those from history and literature that haunt one’s memories: Miss Haversham from Great Expectations, The Headless Horsemen from the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Bloody Mary, Freda Kahlo among others.  Neighbors generously donated their yards for the sets and pitched in to help create the scenes.

With styrofoam heads from Joanne’s and cheap wigs and some clothing from Display and Costume, the characters emerged.  Michele created various outfits and sets.  I was the make-up artist.  I learned with time that I could mold the styrofoam just enough to develop brows, distinct noses, high cheekbones, unique lips and chins.   A touch of red around the neck, across the face and voila, decapitated heads.

Red ribbon works marvelously as spurting blood. I was inspired by Caravaggio’s Judith and Holofernes – a gruesome depiction of sweet revenge.

Warning the image is graphic and is rated PG.

You might be thinking this will give little children nightmares and permanently damage them with PTSD.   This is nothing compared to the images brought to us down from the medieval ages – images of tortured saints that we were exposed to in Spain.  Those museums and churches don’t offer any warning about the gory details.   Think of what the naive children of the 15th century Catholic world had to suffer when instructed on the lives of the Saints.

Lady Haversham is not designed to scare…only haunt with the image of a jilted bride and her lust for revenge.

And Freda Kahlo…well if you don’t  know the back story of her being impaled in a bus accident and spending years recovering and incorporating her damaged frame into her imagery…well then you may lose the reference to the horror of survival.

Our headless horseman has moved between trees over time but is lit to startle the young and amuse the old, riding on the black horse and tossing the pumpkin through the air.

Next year who should appear?  I believe that Long John Silver may shiver a few timbers. So a fair warning to all, he may be handing out the black spot.  Be afraid…be Very Afraid.